Repressed memories and parenting thoughts.

I have fond memories of being a kid.  The problem is that they are hidden amongst the many repressed bad memories that have to be retrieved.  Lately, I find my self slowly remembering things and I don’t know if it’s from all the time I spend with my daughter (now almost 4 mo. old).  Obviously, I am not remembering memories from when I was that age, though I am sure that those were good ones.  No, these are memories from I guess 3-14 years and 18-23 years.  These seemed to have been bad times for me, filled with too many unwanted memories and not enough good times; these are coming back.  I have to believe that there were good times and every now and then I get a glimpse of those times.

I guess what seems to be pulling these memories out is the amount of parenting books that I have been reading lately as well as my daydreaming about being the perfect parent.  As I read about all the things that parents should or shouldn’t do to their children (daughters to be exact), I realize that my parents had it all wrong and no wonder I am screwed up! 

Now, this isn’t some plot to blame my parents for all my mistakes in life or to say if they hadn’t treated me better that my life might somehow be different.  I like my life.  Let me rephrase – I love my life and wouldn’t change a thing.  I also love my parents dearly – all four of them – and know that they were just doing the best that they knew how to do.  Afterall, in the late 1970’s and eary 1980’s there wasn’t all the research that there is today on parenting styles, child development and whatnot.  However, let’s just say that my childhood was less than pleasant and in order to ensure that my daughter (children) don’t experience anything like it, I read, I research, and I read more.