So now we wait…wait for summer to end, back pain to end, and for Vivian to make her debut to the world.  Oh but the time just keeps on ticking ever so slowly.  We’ve been pretty busy up until now.  Now things are starting to slow down a bit, until I find something else to consume my time with while I wait.  I don’t do well with a lot of time on my hands.  I wish that I could somehow make myself more productive, but how? With what?

So I’ve been thinking a lot about the direction my career and academic path has been taking me and I’ve decided that I am tired of psychopathologies and abnormal behaviors.  I’m really questioning my clinical psychology direction and am really thinking more about counseling or school psychology.  More specifically, i am interested in working as a counselor in a school.  I still want to work with children and adolescents, just not in the field of addictions per se.  It’s just a downer and I know what the problem is and what could change the choices adolescents make, but I also know that it will never change because the very things that need to change won’t – PARENTING!  No one wants to listen when it comes to changing their parenting styles or communication with their own children, but that is where psychopathologies begin.  Maybe I am jaded, but I don’t think it will ever change.  Parents and society have let our youth down.  We’re doing a bad job and I am afraid that it is only going to get worse.  I know that I will be faced with the same type of parents working in the schools, but I will also be working with most adolescents BEFORE they get to a point of needing substance abuse counseling.  Sometimes, all a child needs is to know that ONE person believes in them to make a difference in their life.  I want to be that person.

Anyways, I am rambling now.  My point is, in Texas, a lot of districts require that a person seeking a counselor position not only have the necessary certifications, but they also want a candidate that has had at least 3 years of teaching experience.  Therefore, while I take this quarter off in preparation for Vivian, i am going to get my teacher certification.  Then, maybe in the fall next year I can start a teaching internship (1 yr) to complete certification.  Who knows, all I know is that I am tired of just dealing with depression, anxiety, addictions, and the more severe mental disorders.  It literally sucks the very life out of you and you get sick of working with someone that is so focused only on their self that they can’t see outside their own viewpoint to realize that there is healing if they really wanted it.  I can say this being someone that has dealt with anxiety and depression, as well as alcohol and drug addiction all my life.  Instead of dwelling in my addictions and mood disorders, I chose to seek life – life more abundantly.  I believe we have a choice in how we will respond to the cards that we’re dealt (this doesn’t apply to those with schizophrenia and the more severe mood disorders that are debilitating).  I get so tired of being so selfish and only thinking about myself and how I am feeling physically and mentally.  It really does get old and I’d rather apply my strengths into helping others acheive a more fuller and rewarding life.

Ok, I have a lot on my mind…guess I just really needed to vent…more to come I am sure!