Here we go again…

So once again I am faced with a dilemma and I don’t know what to choose.  I loved my job, but it was too chaotic, the stress was too high, and there was no stability.  So I quit.  Now I have HR and the powers that be wanting to meet with me because they don’t want me to leave.  They knew how committed I was to them and to those in recovery, but I just couldn’t deal with the constant chaos and the adult clients draining me of every ounce of compassion.  My passion is adolescents, but there wasn’t a position on that unit.  Now there is and I have to say that it is tempting. 7-3p.m. is better than 3-11p.m.

I need stability because Sid and I need to grow.  I can’t keep blowing with the wind.  I find that I do the very thing to him that the clients do to me, and who does he have to drain? No one:( I feel like I’ve failed him in many ways and I feel like it is necessary for me to start standing on solid ground.  He needs me to stand on solid ground.  Funny that he told my pastor on our wedding day during the vows that I was a ‘flower in a tornado’, boy was he right.

That is what this whole album is about.  But now I need clarity, I am always at a crossroad not know which way to go.  I think I know what I need to do, I just want to make sure that it is something that I want to do.

 m

Avoiding the muse

I am so excited that this summer semester is about over and I can get started on the next summer session.  This will also free up a lot of my time to work on my music and such because I will only be taking one class as opposed to three.  It’s tough to take 3 English classes in a month.

My website is back up and running after a year off – www.mindyhughesmusic.com – I am excited about it. Luckily myspace, youtube, and isound make it so easy to have your stuff online that I didn’t really need to do much for it. If you see anything that needs editing, please do not hesitate to let me know.

It is interesting, I have picked up on this cycle I go in everytime my time is freed up. I start to feel antsy, or like I’m not doing enough, so I get a job. I end up working like a slave for a few months, stressing out, and then quitting.  I can’t help it if I am a good worker, but goodness, don’t overwork me because I have a hard time saying no.  Guess that is my problem. Needless to say, I am now forcing myself to work fulltime on my music as well as school and I am happy about it.

My siamese cat is in my lap and she is having a hard time.  She can’t seem to always keep her food down so I have to feed her in tiny bits to prevent it.  Basically, my cat is bulemic.  She has been doing it so long that I think that she wants to throw up and if she goes awhile without doing it,she can somehow force herself too. GROSE!  I have my animals (2 cats & a dog) on a strict diet.  They only eat raw meat especially prepared for them and I do not let them have anything from the usual monopolizers that don’t monitor the quality of the food released at your own risk (Iams, Science Diet etc).

 Ok, guess it is time to dry my hair, put on my face, and convince the world that I have it all together:)

Cheers!
Mindy